


Carry That Weight

by LadyDulcinea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Rumbelle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-11-29 21:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/691448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDulcinea/pseuds/LadyDulcinea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. After Belle suffers a devistating tragedy, those closest to her must put aside their differences and learn to get along for her sake and sanity. It won't be as easy as it seems, for they are all reeling from the effects of the loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is being written after 2x05 "The Doctor" has aired. It takes place in the future of Storybrooke (2 years or so) and is now AU. However anything canon up to "The Doctor" episode will still be canon here.

"Let me help you," young Henry Swan insisted laying his stack of books on the counter and walking over to the brunette beauty perched on the ladder returning books to their proper location on one of the top shelves.

"Well I'm up here already," Belle said smiling down at him. "But you can hand me up the books." She rubbed her 7 months pregnant belly and was grateful she wouldn't have to traipse up and down the ladder to shelve the remaining books on the cart. She wiped the back of her hand across her brow, lamenting that putting the books away had never caused her to sweat so profusely before she got pregnant.

Henry watched the librarian closely as she climbed down the final rungs of the ladder. "Are you sure you're all right, Belle? Your face is red…" He frowned slightly as she shooed him toward the circulation desk to check out his books.

The library was busier than it usually was on a Saturday morning due to a program Belle had started for middle school aged children to teach them about travel in this new land in which they had suddenly found themselves. The curse had kept everyone hazy about life outside of Storybrooke and she hoped that she could spark an interest in travel (for when the spell barrier preventing everyone from leaving was finally broken). Many of the children who had learned about India and its customs in the session this morning were now scouring the bookshelves for the delights they had gained knowledge of in the way of Indian culture, food, and crafts. Some were browsing other sections while waiting for their parents to retrieve them.

"What are the boxes for?" Henry asked, pointing to a stack by the door.

"Oh." Belle looked over at them as if she had forgotten their existence. "I'm moving the last of my things into Mr. Gold's house this weekend and I'm going to rent out the apartment upstairs."

Although Belle and Mr. Gold were engaged and not yet married, the impending arrival of their bundle of joy had progressed their relationship along. Much to her father's chagrin, she was returning to the so-called _Pink Palace_ on Dogwood Avenue (for good this time). The beauty laughingly referred to the child growing inside her as "our little engagement souvenir" as she was not shy about when conception probably took place.

"Don't look so glum, Henry," She said with a pout, mocking the child's own expression. "I'll keep the library open until the baby's born and then I'll be back a few weeks later." Belle began scanning his books with flourish to get a smile out of him. It worked.

"Maybe I could help sometimes…you know if you can't make it-" He stopped mid-sentence. Belle's face had gone white and she was sweating profusely. "Are you okay?"

Pushing sweat drenched curls back from her face, Belle blinked a few times and took a deep breath. She suddenly felt as if she would be sick. Holding onto the circulation desk for support she licked her lips a few times before asking Henry to run down the street to get Mr. Gold. Turning back briefly he saw Belle's eyes flutter back in her head as she slid to the floor.

The boy's heart pounded as he was caught between running for the pawnshop and going to Belle's side, but the decision was made for him when Ruby pushed past him from the sidewalk. The tall brunette had apparently been coming to visit Belle with breakfast and had witnessed the whole thing on her way inside. She dropped the Styrofoam container and cup she had in her hand from Granny's, iced tea mixing with blueberry pancakes on the sidewalk and carpet.

"Oh my God, Belle!" Ruby breathed rushing to her friend's side and dialing 911 while ordering one of the patrons of the library to get water and the others to give her some room. Knowing that Ruby would take care of Belle, Henry sprinted toward Mr. Gold's Pawn Shop on the next block and nearly put his shoulder through the glass trying to open the door. The bell over the door strained against the bar it was suspended from and Henry briefly thought he had broken it.

Mr. Gold appeared from his office in the back. He opened his mouth to make a quip about the door slamming open, but stopped short when he saw Henry and the pained look on his face. "What is it, lad?" Gold asked with growing panic and more than a little suspicion.

As Henry gulped in air, all that could be made out was, "Belle", "pale", "floor". The Pawn Broker didn't wait to hear any more. He grabbed his cane and was rushing up the sidewalk before the young boy had a chance to catch up.

When Henry made it back to the library, his mom was in full "Sheriff Swan" mode and was ushering patrons out of the library. He could hear the ambulance sirens in the distance and knew they were headed that way. The boy pushed past the exiting bodies, their concerned chatter drowning out his mom talking on the radio and the ambulance wails. Henry made his way to stand in the corner but almost tripped over Mr. Gold's cane, which had apparently been dropped when the man entered and saw Belle. No one seemed to notice or care that they were dragging pancake and iced tea muck over the carpet from where it had been spilled in the doorway. Henry picked up the cane and stood quietly in the corner watching the scene in front of him.

The boy had always been told he was very mature and perceptive, but nothing prepared him for seeing Cameron Gold, Rumpelstiltskin himself, crouched over Belle French and pleading for her to open her eyes. It was perhaps the most intimate and adult scene he had ever witnessed and for once he was glad he was a kid and not expected to make heads or tails of the situation. Clutching Mr. Gold's cane, Henry pleaded silently along with the Pawn Broker for Belle to open her lovely blue eyes.

The mantra was broken for both boy and man, when the paramedics clattered into the library with the stretcher, Emma on their heels. Henry was once again relieved when Ruby related what had happened and he was not called from his dark corner where he clutched Mr. Gold's cane as if it were protection from this situation. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand touched his shoulder.

"C'mon kid, we don't need to watch this," Emma said softly to him as they lifted Belle onto the stretcher and placed oxygen over her nose and mouth. Henry's eyes were riveted to what looked to be a swath of color pooling on the floor where the petite librarian had been lying. He turned questioning eyes to Emma.

"I've got to give Mr. Gold his cane…he'll need it," Henry stated lamely.

"And we'll do just that, kid," Emma nodded putting an arm around him and leading him out quickly to the car. "We're going to give Ruby a ride to the hospital; you can give it to him then. I'm sure he'll be grateful you retrieved it for him." Henry nodded and clamored into the backseat of the police cruiser.

Everyone was silent for the ride over: Ruby alternately texting someone and staring out the window, his mom's eyes on the road. Henry clutched the cane and for the first time in his life, closed his eyes and prayed for someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Twitter: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Deviantart: Lady-Dulcinea


	2. Chapter 2

Belle awoke to a feeling of nausea and the sound of whirring machines. She stared at the white tiled ceiling for a moment, before realizing that she was no longer at the library. Most of what had happened before she passed out came flooding back.

_She had snapped awake previously in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and immediately began asking questions through the oxygen mask covering her face, but the paramedics were busy at her feet. The pain in her abdomen causing her to panic and the obvious worry on Rumpelstiltskin's face as he tried to calm her, made Belle struggle to get the mask off, but the paramedics had apparently strapped her down to keep her from sliding off the stretcher. Pleading with Rumpelstiltskin to let her free, she finally raised her head enough to see the blood seeping onto the stretcher from between her legs, staining the white cloth. It had occurred to her momentarily that seeing your own blood so starkly contrasted against what couldn't be soothing to anyone. Another pain had wracked her body then and she had passed out again. She now had hazy images of being wheeled off of the ambulance and into a very bright room._

The memories after that were so disjointed, though, that she wasn't sure what was real between then and now. Belle registered that now the pain was gone, as was the oxygen mask, but she was covered with tubes and she felt…empty, somehow. 'Empty' seemed to be the only adequate way to describe the sensation. It was then that she knew. Her precious little one was gone.

Closing her eyes again, Belle ignored the dull throb in her head and sorted through what she could vaguely remember after being wheeled into the hospital.

_She had screamed for Rumpelstiltskin, but knew that he had not been in the room when she was told to push. She remembered thinking that she had no choice in the matter as the pain was so intense she couldn't do anything but push. She remembered eyes with no faces or names to go with them and hushed but firm voices coaching her and telling her she was 'doing good'. Urgent words were spoken, but she only made out a few: "incompetent cervix", "wrapped cord". Then the pain and need to push had ended in one final surge of heart-racing tension. It was as if everything inside of her had gushed out between her legs, but something was wrong. There was no crying. Everything she had read had described the sound of your child's initial wail after it was all done. Before she blacked out again, Belle had realized her little boy hadn't even drawn a first breath to expel._

The sob that rose up in Belle's throat came out as a squeak. The flood of tears she could feel behind her eyelids, started as a single drop that fell down her cheek and was wiped away by a thumb. Not her own, she registered. Rumpelstiltskin's. Belle opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times causing more tears to leak down her face. Her lover was sitting in a chair pulled as close to her hospital bed as physics would allow. He ran his thumb across her cheek and cupped the side of her face in his palm. She turned into it and wept as he leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together skin meeting at their temples. Belle didn't even register that he was crying himself until her right hand unwrapped itself from the tangle of tubes and she could feel his body shaking as she clutched the arm Rumpelstiltskin had resting lightly across her ribs.

After several moments clinging to each other, Belle asked hesitantly, "Will they….will they let me see him?"

Rumpelstiltskin nodded, "They will." He had been weighing in his mind whether he wanted to do the same when the offer was put forward earlier by one of the nurses. They would see their boy together he decided in that moment. "I was told they could bring him to us, as soon as you're up to it. I think we should let your meds wear off first, though." His voice sounded thick with emotion, something foreign even to his own ears.

Belle nodded. She wouldn't let any detail be left to the haze of her mind. "Where am I?" She finally asked. It was not the maternity ward they had toured last week. This room was small, private. There was a plexi-glass wall to her right that looked into an observation or waiting room with a sink. Next to the sink was an archway that looked out into a hallway and the nurses' desk.

"ICU," Rumpelstiltskin answered taking her hand into his. "You went into shock…after," he paused, "…you lost a lot of blood." Another pause, "Belle-"

She cut him off quickly. "Not now, Rum. I can't….I…not now." Belle really had no idea what he was about to say, but the tone of his voice indicated a discussion or a confession she couldn't deal with at the moment. The awkwardness was thick, but it couldn't be dealt with now. Not here.

Rumpelstiltskin nodded, biting back whatever he was about to say. Instead he kissed his dear girl's forehead and stood. "I'm just gonna go let the nurse know you're awake. And update Miss Lucas and Sherriff Swan." He smiled at her and brushed a thumb across her cheek. "We thought we were going to lose you, too."

Belle willed herself not to start crying again. "Henry. Henry saw everything. He must have been so scared."

"He was a little prince, that one," Rumpelstiltskin reassured her. "He came to get me just like you told him. Even rescued my cane from being abandoned at the library." He tapped said cane on the ground as he retrieved it from where it leaned against the bed.

Nodding, Belle tried to lower her head as the silent tears came. Her lover lowered himself back down to his unoccupied chair. "Oh sweetheart," he entwined his hands with hers. "We will get through this."

Belle nodded again and sniffled. She smiled slightly as he handed her his handkerchief. He stood and made it to the door this time before she stopped him.

"Can you send Ruby in?" Belle asked. "I'd like her to bring me some things from home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Twitter: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Deviantart: Lady-Dulcinea


	3. Chapter 3

Ruby sat on the side of Belle's hospital bed, her feet resting in the chair Rumpelstiltskin had vacated. She read back the list of items that Belle had requested from home for the rest of her stay in the hospital. Her friend had assured Ruby that Rumpelstiltskin would be fine with her going to get the items, as he probably had no idea what half of it was.

Tucking the list back in her purse, Ruby took a long look at her friend covered in tubes, but thankfully almost completely out of the haze of sedation. She had to admit that she was feeling awkward and out of her element where Belle was concerned at the moment and was happy to have something concrete to do for the brunette who had become so dear to her.

She hadn't offered to talk when first entering the hospital room, just gave Belle a delicate hug and wiped her own tears before pulling out the pad and pen. Ruby didn't offer to talk now, feeling that it wasn't her place with Mr. Gold right outside the door and knowing there were so many feelings the couple would need to work out together, first. The waitress knew, however, that she would offer her friend a sympathetic ear later…when Ruby herself could work through what had just happened and could be of use to Belle in that capacity.

Ruby jumped a bit when Belle squeezed her hand. The wan smile she was offered was nowhere near the bright grin that could light up the room, but Ruby was glad to return it with one of her own.

"I know this must be terribly uncomfortable for you," Belle said releasing Ruby's hand.

Ruby waved away her friend's concern quickly. "We were all so worried. We…we're just glad you're okay," She offered lamely.

Belle nodded tightly, but said nothing else her eyes focusing on some unknown point on the wall. Ruby stood from the bed and enveloped her friend in another delicate hug, trying not to disturb the machines, tubes, and wires. "I'll be back soon with your stuff…"

The sound of voices from the near the nurses' desk stopped Ruby in her tracks and she heard Belle suck in a breath. While she couldn't make out entirely what was going on, the intent was clear.

"You miserable bastard," a heavily accented voice trembled from the hallway. "You knew this was a bad idea."

"Father," Belle gasped out with a sob. She started pulling at wires and tubes trying to stand.

Ruby stopped her quickly. "I'll just go see what's going on," she said sympathetically. She could hear Rumpelstiltskin loudly replying to his future father-in-law but couldn't make out the words over Belle beginning to breathe heavily to control her tears. The machine monitoring her heart rate started beeping faster. A nurse entered at that moment and shot a meaningful look to Ruby.

"Miss French," the nurse said loudly, obviously trying to cover the voices from the other room, "I'm Sarah and I just need to check some of your vitals now that the sedation is wearing off…"

Ruby glanced sympathetically at Belle again, who was lifting pathetically on her arms, trying to get a better look through the plexiglass wall to see the commotion. "I'll take care of it," Ruby told the room in general and headed out as calmly as possibly until she was sure she was out of Belle's sight line.

"You knew her mother died in childbirth, but you didn't care. You did this to her anyway." Moe French was saying as he came into Ruby's view, towering over Mr. Gold (who seemed rather unfazed).

"You should know as well as I do that no one makes your daughter do anything she doesn't want to," Rumpelstiltskin returned, "as for her mother, maybe if-"

Ruby walked faster to jump in before Rumpelstiltskin could insult Moe by throwing something about his wife in his face.

"Stop it, both of you," Ruby hissed. "Belle can hear you." She had to admit the looks of shame on the faces of both men would have made a wonderful Christmas card for most of the citizens of Storybrooke. "If you have to make asses of yourselves, can't you at least do it somewhere else?"

"We're quite finished," Rumpelstiltskin said before turning and heading back toward Belle's room.

Ruby had much sympathy for Mr. French, even though she knew what Belle and Rumpelstiltskin shared was true love. She knew that father and daughter were slowly rebuilding their relationship. She also knew that Moe French had been delighted at the prospect of a grandson and that his rage came from sorrow and fear.

"Why don't we have a seat," Ruby said, leading them over to a row of chairs underneath a long set of windows across from the nurses' desk. Moe followed behind obedient as a chastised puppy.

"This isn't what I wanted for her," He admitted quietly after a few moments of awkward silence. "Her mother…left me the same way…left us the same way. I know Belle always worried about that, though she never told me directly. And he-he-" Moe didn't finish the sentence as his face turned blotchy and a few tears rolled down his cheek. "I'd thought I'd lost her, ya see, and I get her back only to lose her to him again…"

Ruby hesitated before placing a hand softly on his arm. "Mr. French, whatever is between you and Rumpelstiltskin…I am sure that Belle will want to see you later. She loves you…and she's NOT gone."

Pursing his lips, Moe nodded. "I suppose it was stupid of me to come raging in here so soon after it happened."

Ruby smiled at that, "Maybe just a little, but we're all hurting for her. How about you follow me over to Granny's? I'm sure Belle will ask to see you soon. We can have hamburgers while we wait and you can help me pick up her stuff from the house. I'm sure you know all the sorts of things that comforted her when she was sick." Ruby might not have known what to say directly to her friend at this moment, but she could comfort this man, this father who had also lost so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Twitter: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Deviantart: Lady-Dulcinea


	4. Chapter 4

“My father?” Belle asked as Rumpelstiltskin returned to her hospital room and took his seat next to her bed leaning his cane handle on the window sill. “What did he want? Is everything alright?”

Her fiancé snorted through his nose.

“What?” Belle asked with narrowed eyes, the haze of drugs wearing off allowing her to pick up the small intricacies in his demeanor. Months of being the Dark One’s only company in the Dark Castle had given her the privilege of learning to read him from simple gestures he probably hadn’t even known he made. Of course, then, he was apt at getting his point across when he was playing The Dark One. But in quieter moments, Belle had seen smaller nuances. In their world, Rumpelstiltskin had worn his emotions as another piece of clothing with which to strut and make an impression, where in the Storybrooke, Mr. Gold had schooled them so completely one might be mistaken that he had no feelings. Belle had learned over the last years to read both men; for her fiancé was both. Sometimes she wondered who would react when she related news or a story with him: Rumpelstiltskin or Gold.

Rumpelstiltskin smirked slightly, the first smile he’d probably given since Henry had barged into the pawn shop that morning. He shook his head as if in disbelief. “I am consistently amazed at your altruism. You are in the hospital, but yet you are worried about…your father.” 

Belle could tell by the tension coiling off of him that he would like to have used a variegated list of words to describe Moe (apart from “Your father”), and it confused her as to what may have happened in their recent confrontation. He was withholding something. Belle well knew that her fiancé and father had an uneasy truce, one that the baby had helped incite. But however fragile even her own relationship was with Moe, she could not let him be attacked by Rumpelstiltskin, whose cutting derision would hit their mark true and for which her father’s retorts could be no match. Any sort of relationship she wanted to maintain with her father would be torn to shreds if whatever Rumpelstiltskin wasn’t saying didn’t come out now.

“I would like to have seen him. He should have been allowed in,” She said in a faint accusing tone. She could tell by Rumpelstiltskin’s brusque eyebrow raise that he did not agree. It fueled her frustration even more. “I do get a say, don’t I? Of who can see me?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, her fiancé lowered his head as if in defeat, “Please don’t push me right now Belle. Not when we’ve lost…when I’ve almost lost you again. Of course you can see whomever you wish.” Rumpelstiltskin lifted pleading eyes to her and she was softened for the moment reminding herself that this was his loss, too.

However, the thought that her fiancé was suppressing spite against Moe for whatever happened in the waiting room was niggling in her brain like flies vibrating the strands of a spider web. Belle had to try to get across to him that her father was most likely acting out of hurt and fear for her, just as Rumpelstiltskin was.

“I know I said I couldn’t talk about it yet, Rum, but….he’s my father. And after all I’ve done to get back my relationship with him; I don’t want to sacrifice that because our nerves are frayed.” Belle pursed her lips wondering if this sudden irritation with Rumpelstiltskin was genuine or a mixture of the medication and the loss they had suffered. She hated not being able to sort out her feelings. It reminded her too much of the cold darkness of confusion that had come with her cursed self. “What happened out there? What was said?”

Whatever Rumpelstiltskin would have replied was postponed by the appearance of a nurse in the doorway, the same one who had taken her vitals moments ago. From the disconsolate demeanor on the woman’s face and the tiny bundle in her arms, Belle knew they had brought her son, their son. The blue hospital receiving blanket, which swathed what Rumpelstiltskin would jokingly refer to as his “wee bairn”, was a stark contrast to the crisp archaic white uniform that attired many of Storybrooke’s nurses. Regina’s attempts at making her cursed domain into a gnarled Norman Rockwell painting had never felt so surreal or heartbreaking to Belle.

“We usually have a private room for parents to spend time with their stillborn babies,” the nurse was saying when Belle began to comprehend what was happening, “But since you’re in ICU and Doctor Whale has said not to move you yet…” 

The rest of the sentence hung in the air, not needing to be spoken. The now familiar sting of tears was pricking at the back of the Belle’s eyes. All scrutiny of Rumpelstiltskin and her father’s bickering vanished from her mind and she seized her fiancé’s hand, only to find it grasping to her own already, steadfastly, anchoring them together for what they were about to brave.

The nurse approached Belle’s bedside cradling the child as if it were alive and squirming in her arms and not lifeless and languid. She sucked in a breath involuntarily as she saw her child’s face for the first time. Rumpelstiltskin released her hand as their child was placed gingerly into his mother’s arms. The fading steps of the nurse, in her immaculate white Keds went unnoticed. The world around them went unnoticed as well as they both looked on their much loved and now to be much mourned son. 

Rumpelstiltskin reached out a hesitant hand and ran a thumb across the short downy hair on the baby’s head. Clutching the tiny body closer to her chest, Belle’s eyes met with her fiancé as she whispered, “He’s perfect…he would have been perfect.” She pressed a teary kiss to the tiny temple where Rumpelstiltskin’s hand still caressed.

“We will get through this, love,” he promised her; she could hear the emotion thickly hanging in his throat.

Belle nodded as she unswaddled the little bundle. “Ten fingers and toes,” she said with relief as if it mattered now anyway. But somehow it did matter; they had created this perfect tiny life in their love for one another. She shifted to the side to allow Rumpelstiltskin to join her on the bed. He was openly crying now as well.

“I love you, wee bairn,” he whispered as she transferred the baby to his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Twitter: LadyDulcinea  
> Find me on Deviantart: Lady-Dulcinea


End file.
